Travel regrets are a painful lesson – you just don’t know it at the time.
I was ten years old and clinging to my Dad’s leg as hard as I could.
He was a big guy, my old man, but he couldn’t get me off. I was like a four-foot flea stuck to him as he gently tried to flick me off.
The small crowd of about twenty people was staring at me. Eyes all on me. Not cool. I just wanted to dig a hole and climb into it.
With a smile, our American guide with a bronze California tan, beautiful teeth and a plastic red visor hat moved on.
“Do we have anyone else?” He shouted to the crowd.
I could hear another kid’s voice shout out. The small crowd parted and I watched another boy run onto the stage with a big grin on his face. This was his moment. It should have been mine.
“A feeling of embarrassment and shame came over me as I hugged my Dad tightly.”
This was at Universal Studios many, many years ago.
At a time when Trump was only a businessman, smoking was cool and the internet wasn’t even a word.
I was at Universal Studios, it was the late 1980’s and Steven Spielberg’s ET (of “ET, phone home” fame) was still a thing.
On the studio tour, one lucky child would get to go up on a small bike in front of a screen. Just like Elliott did in the movie and fly in front of the full moon.
Watching the young boy go up had me in tears. It didn’t even look as high as I thought it would be. I realised it was possible. Instead, I had lost my opportunity.
Fear took over.
It was my first trip overseas. Visiting California at that age blew my mind. Especially coming from New Zealand.
California was like another planet compared to my little corner of the world. There were only three TV channels, McDonalds was a nursery rhyme about a farm and holidays abroad rarely stretched further than Australia.
This moment at Universal Studios has stuck with me since. More so than many travel memories. For one reason.
It introduced me to the world of regret.
A world we are all familiar with at some level. I knew straight away I had lost a moment. I knew I would not get the opportunity to do it again.
The world of travel regrets is real.
In this article, I’ll discuss why these happen and offer some advice on how to minimise your own travel regrets.
Let’s dive in.
If you don't think you will get the chance to do it again, you should probably do it
We all think too much.
I do, you do – everyone does. It’s what makes us human. Our minds protect us – and hinder us.
The trouble is 99% of the time, we overthink things so much that what we imagined is so far from reality.
I know very few people who have no interest in travel whatsoever.
Granted there are some, but the vast majority of people have a desire to visit somewhere. Inspiration may have struck to visit Greece after seeing some hotty on a beach on Insta. On the other end, it might be to visit another town down the road after a recommendation from a friend.
“The stumbling block is making it happen.”
Covid scuppered so many plans. Probably some of yours. A lot of mine. Shit happened in the biggest way and we all dealt with it.
A big lesson we learned is it proved that you might have an opportunity snatched away from you in an instant.
It might be another pandemic. You could get sick. The Number 56 bus might take you out when you are crossing the road staring into your phone.
Opportunity may only come once. When this happens to you, put it through the lens of ‘Is this my opportunity?’. Will I regret not doing this one day?
If it is, you should probably do it.
Playing it Safe
It’s confession time.
I ain’t no adrenaline junkie. For someone from New Zealand, I’m quite dull in that regard.
Despite living here for most of my life, I don’t fit the stereotype that comes with being a Kiwi. New Zealand is a country where tourism providers LOVE throwing innocent tourists out of perfectly functional planes and pushing adrenaline-seeking tourists off stable bridges, with only a flimsy rope attached to them.
No, no. Not for me. Never understood it.
Except once.
Before I quit my job, sold everything and travelled the world, I was gifted a bungee jump in my hometown of Taupo. It was exciting on the surface, but quietly dreaded the idea of it.
Putting my big boy pants on a couple of days before flying out, I faced my fears. I knew it was safe – that wasn’t the problem, It was scary. I wasn’t keen.
I had days, weeks to think about it. I didn’t have to do it.
But, my overriding thought was ‘I wonder what it’s like’. It scared the pants off me, but there was the annoying truth that I would regret it if I didn’t.
By the time I was standing there on a bridge getting tied up, it was too late. No turning back now. For most, fear would have prevented them from getting on the bridge in the first place.
“I was still thinking ‘What the F##k am I doing though’ as I smiled for the photos.”
The jump was a blur. The impact hitting the cold Waikato River wasn’t.
I remember the ‘ooohhhhh’ sound coming from the spectators, as I came up half-drenched and head spinning after hitting the water at a rate of knots.
Coming up smiling, I decided that it was my first and last time bungee jumping. But at least I now knew what it was like.
I could speak from experience instead of hearsay (something we can all relate to in the world of social media).
The easy option was to say no. When you play it safe, no is usually the default answer.
Try and say yes more.
Who knows, if you push past your fears, you might find something remarkable on the other side.
I'll Do It When I Have More Time
No, you won’t.
When you say “I’ll do it when I have more time”, “Maybe next year” or “After the kids have left home”, all you are doing is one thing – making excuses.
Read that again.
This isn’t only about travel regrets.
This applies to our lives as a whole. Often, opportunity presents itself out of the blue – for no reason whatsoever.
Time is the truest form of currency there is. It is also the simplest to understand. Because it’s a one-way ticket. Every day you spend it – and you don’t get it back.
You will have heard the stories.
You may have experienced it firsthand.
Stories of people who made plans to do amazing things in the future. Some of them plan to go and visit the castles of Europe or have an adventure on a safari in Africa.
“Good people who have worked their asses off all their life intending to do the things they want to, when they retire.”
Sometimes, these stories turn sour. Through illness. Through unscripted life events that scuppered plans. My Dad died unexpectedly at 40 with his whole life ahead of him. He had dreams, he wrote about them before he passed. His dreams inspired my own to an extent.
This isn’t about living life recklessly with no regard for the future, either. That is irresponsible. I’ve been guilty of that in the past. Harsh lessons have come from that.
What it means is there needs to be a balance.
Instead of living a life based on the future, wind it back a bit and live a bit more in the present. It is the only time we have for sure.
By saving your travel dreams for the future, you are taking the biggest risk of all – and there is no guarantee they will even come true.
These travel regrets hit hardest when you know there was an opportunity at one point.
Don't Wait For Others to Let Your Travel Dreams Come True
You don’t need your hand held the whole time.
The only thing stopping you from getting out in the world is you and your excuses.
Solo travel is a bit of a buzzword at the moment. I’ve seen it more and more lately, it is becoming the latest ‘thing’. It’s all about empowering yourself, being independent and having an experience authentically about you.
It’s awesome. But, it’s hardly new.
Solo travel has been around for decades, even centuries. For men and women. It’s not as difficult these days either – especially with such a connected world. The world of solo travel follows a well-trodden path.
The hardest part is starting.
It isn’t about the desire to travel independently – it is making it happen. When you have someone to go with and share the journey with, it is like having a backup plan. Someone to lean on when times get tough (and they do). It’s like having a talking walking comfort pillow.
By removing this human comfort pillow, you expose your vulnerabilities, you become a little more exposed. This, my friends, is where you learn more about yourself than in any other environment.
“How will you react when you get lost in a strange city and everyone appears to be trying to rip you off? What will you do when you get sick? These are all challenges solo travellers will face at some point.”
But you know what?
When you come out the other side, you become stronger for it. A more resilient person. This is something you take home with you. We can all do with a little more resilience in a world where people appear to be getting more offended by everything.
The only thing stopping you from travelling the world and having new experiences is yourself.
Read that again.
It is all about choices, my dear readers.
So, what choices will you make in the future? What are you prepared to gamble, what risks will you take? Will travel regrets be part of your future?
Like the ten-year-old boy at the start of this article, the fear was far more imagined than it is in reality.
Awesome lessons on regret here, Marc! Great article!
Love this! Very well-written post. You perfectly point out the balance of getting out there versus being reckless.
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