Travel Expectations vs Reality (and How to Avoid Disappointment)

“Well, that’s a bit s*&t’

You can’t hide your disappointment as you reluctantly join the line of tourists from around the world, which seems to go on for miles.

Briefly, you consider coming back another day but that would screw up the rest of your plans.

“Come on, snap out of it,” you think to yourself as you glance up at the brownish iron beams on the 300m high Eiffel Tower and join the winding queue.

Images from books and magazines and countless posts on social media about the magic of visiting this iconic tower have been the stuff of dreams.

You have been thinking about this day for years.

Then it starts raining. Like really hard.

It is all over in ten minutes, but you are drenched. Along with everyone else in the queue. One guy with a dodgy mo spends the best part of ten minutes trying to relight his wet cigarette. Young children start crying as frustrated parents try and reassure their little people it will all be worth it in the end.

The day you had dreamed about had literally been rained on by the French rain gods. Sacre bleu!

Eventually, you reach the front of the queue and take the yellow elevator up. You get those beautiful photos of the City of Love.

Then, as soon as it started, it’s time to go.

“You got what you came here for and saw what you expected but something is missing – it feels a little underwhelming.”

Almost a little disappointing. But never mind. Bucket list item. TICK.

Does this story sound familiar to you?

This story about my visit to the Eiffel Tower can be retold across many places I’ve visited around the globe.

The excitement of travel begins before you leave home. Few of us travel to destinations and places we haven’t been influenced to visit in some way.

It could be pics on Insta by some bikini-clad model in Santorini or a recommendation from the self-professed nomad guy who works remotely in Bali most of the time. Either way, we have an expectation when we go places.

Sometimes, this expectation can exceed or meet what you hoped to experience. More often than not though, when expectations become so high, it can only lead to disappointment in some shape or form.

“Expectations vs Reality. This doesn’t just apply to travel.”

It happens to us every day. It might be something as simple as a meal in the new place in town that you have been dragged along to that blows you away.

On the other end, you are disappointed when the shiny new Maserati you bought to impress the ladies during a midlife crisis as a way of getting back at your ex-wife, barely gets a passing glance.

When we travel, expectations take up so much of our brain space the reality often confuses us.

Here are four strategies to manage these expectations on the road.

Do Your Research

The Eiffel Tower in Paris or The Colosseum in Rome are spectacular places to visit for good reason.

But, guess what?

What the selfies on Insta don’t tell you is when you have seven million people visiting the Eiffel Tower every year, you should expect to wait a while – at any time of the year.

Instead, by being a smart traveller and planning your day a little, your experience can be less stressful than it needs to be. Typically in most touristy places, the earlier you can start your day, the better chance you have of avoiding the long queues.

On my travels through Europe, I had an alarm clock called a one year old who was up at the crack of dawn.

“It wasn’t uncommon to be strolling through cities and towns with only local early-morning commuters for company. Not a fellow tourist to be seen.”

The choice of having a leisurely lie-in while you scroll through Facebook or getting up and about before most other people can be the difference between a memorable day out and a frustrating one.

Another option is to pre-book online whenever possible.

Most sites that require entry fees will have an online booking platform you can take advantage of. Often, tickets are sold at a discount and have separate access which can (sometimes) mean quicker and smaller queues. It’s a no-brainer.

The length of queues at some sites for people who are buying tickets on the day blows my mind when you could buy tickets on your phone while sitting on the toilet before leaving.

Don't Compare Yourself to Others

Stop it right now. Yes, you. Comparing your travels to others’ experiences is a shortcut to disappointment.

There is no right (or wrong) way to experience the world. Travel is a personal experience,

Every experience is unique.

Just because Jane from accounts comes back from Florence and starts talking in a funny accent about her newfound expertise in the influence of Renaissance Art by Michelangelo and Botticelli on the world and being swept off her feet by a charming waiter called Fabio in the evenings doesn’t mean you should travel with similar expectations.

Jane’s experience can be substituted by a source of influence we all share – Social Media.

Now don’t get me wrong, social media has influenced my travels as much as anyone. Whose hasn’t? Before socials, there were magazines, books, films and documentaries.

For all the inspiration, social media is often notoriously fake.

Edited photos where filters can be applied to make a destination almost look unrecognisable. The staged photos on clifftops that have only been taken after queueing for hours.

All for the perfect shot. The perfect shot you see on your phone while you are in your pj’s lying on your couch.

Everyone is different. But, as long as you focus on your personal experience and not compare it to others while at the same time not staring at your photos the whole time wasting hours for the perfect shot, you can have a truly memorable experience.

Wherever you go.

Be Present

It’s so easy to get caught up in the bright shiny lights of your bucket list.

So much so, you can be blinded to what is going on around it. The irony is, often this is where the most memories and interesting things happen.

It might just be people watching on the Charles Bridge in Prague, or sharing a glass of wine with a loved one on the lawns by the Eiffel Tower, but often the attraction that got you there in the first place takes a backseat to just enjoying the location and being present where you are.

“You will always remember that glass of wine on the lawn or that special sunset more than anything else.”

Rushing about, taking dozens of photos from different angles and filming vlogs take you away from the experience of being there in the first place. Slow down and soak it all in.

A curse of many travellers is to always say ‘I’ll definitely come back here’.

Well, you might, but a lot of you won’t. I’m at peace with that – maybe you should keep that in mind when you visit somewhere special.

Having this mindset when you travel makes you more present. It opens your senses to what is happening in front of you, not what you are looking at through a lens.

Take your time to explore the local cafes nearby and read up on the local history in the area.

This is where some of the best stories are – you can’t experience these online.

Be Flexible

There is only one thing certain about travel.

Some things will go wrong. How you deal with these can make or break your trip. But here’s the catch – you get to decide.

Opportunity lurks at every turn. Even if it hides behind disappointment at first. Let me explain.

You’ve wanted to visit the Colosseum ever since you saw ‘Gladiator’ as a child. The roaring crowds baying for blood and untamed, wild animals desperate for the same filled your imagination growing up.

The day finally arrives and half of it is closed for maintenance. The crowds are out the gate and it is 42 degrees. Your dreams feel shattered. Now, the day can go one of two ways.

You can sulk and moan about it or enjoy what you can. Personally, my favourite memories of the Colosseum were walking around the outside, not inside. A short stroll away lies the remarkable ruins of Palatine Hill. Or a short train ride away you can visit the Trevi Fountain and Spanish Steps.

“The point is to be flexible with what the day may bring you. Look beyond your expectations and work with the reality of what is in front of you. Not what you read about on TripAdvisor or on Instagram.”

When things don’t meet up to your expectations, there is always opportunity elsewhere.

You just need to be open-minded enough to see it.

Travel often hides under a mirage of expectations, filtered photos and second-hand stories. Each of these will continue to contribute to our future travels around the world. The secret is to not let any of these expectations control our own personal travel narrative.

We get to decide that for ourselve